I've spent the whole day crying. Reason is becos my parents are going back to Malaysia to visit Mama. I thought they would let me go back despite of schooling. I thought they would understand that i want to go back very badly. However, they don't. My mum understood me, but my dad don't. He think that my studies is more important than Mama. No, in my heart, if anything happen to Mama, she is more important than anything. Dad kept saying she is alright, she is more stable now. So don't worry. Dad, did you just say that so i would stop worrying & not go to Malaysia? I will never feel safe until i see her. What is the point when my heart is at Malaysia, with Mama? I will not be paying attention in class. I will never feel the security till i see her with my own eye. I will never feel any happier without seeing her, especially her voice. So why can't i go back? At least when i go back i still can talk to her(even if she cannot answer me). At least i still get to see her move, at least i can still see her when she is still breathing. AT LEAST SHE CAN LOOK AT ME & NEVER FORGET HOW MUCH I LOVE HER & THE TIMES WHEN SHE TOOK CARE OF ME. Why must you all just let me go back when she have gone? & by the time what i want to tell her & even see her the last time have vanish. Why?! I don't get it. The another part that i don't understand is, Dad told me Mama is fine. But when i was having dinner with Mum, Mum said Mama is in a very dangerous state & isn't looking good. Ha. So one of you choose to not tell me the truth? Have you all ever thought of how much my heart worry for her? SHE TOOK CARE OF ME. I sleep with her! You know the feeling?! I just want to rush back now & look at her. I want her to be alive, i cannot let her just slide pass my life like how grandma did! I only go back when Grandma passed away! & when i saw her inside the coffin, i got a shock & immediately i cried. So can anyone of you out there ever know how i feel?!

Her is my Mama. She is just too good.
I still remember the sound of the fan when i am asleep. I still remember the feeling when i sleep with her. I still remember she always feeds me rice with soup. & even though the only ingredient is the pork ribs which is with the soup, it is the best food. & becos of her, i have to have soup everyday. Without fail. I still remember she shower me. & the soap smell is so nice. I still remember whenever i come back from Singapore, she would buy stickers for me. The stickers is always 101 dalmatians. Becos she knew i love stickers & 101 dalmatians at that time. & she let me paste it on the cupboard. She drives me on a motorcycle. I always sleep on the mattress outside the living room. & it is really comfortable. Even though her house isn't very nice, isn't air-condition, but becos of it is not nice & not air-conditioned, it creates more feelings & more love. You get the feeling? I really have a lot of memories with her... How am i going to let it go if she really leaves me without seeing her the last time before her last breathe?


However, i want to thank Amanda for cheering me up when i was crying my heart out. ♥

I have choral exchange tmrw. I have to concentrate tmrw in singing & not let KC Choir go down. My heart cannot be flying off to other parts of the world. I have to overcome this stage... My commitments to choir cannot be affected by my family matters. Probably the next few days, i would look somehow different. However i will try to bring up my mood. I will not let the people around me that truly care for me worry for me.

I shall stop here.

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Afflin Amanda AnneTan Arnee Beverly Denise Eileen Farisah Fiona Genevieve Geraldine Huixian Irene JingYi. JoleneSEAH Kaijun KayXi KC choir LindaLIM Linda Melissa Nadia Natalie Ng Ying NicoleCHAN Noreen RyanPoon SandraYEO Sheryl Sharon Shearin SoniaCHEW Tiffany VenusTan Venus VictoriaAnne Xiao qing XingWen Yun Hsiu Yuliyanti

• Life is full of problems
• Hey people, I've shift. :)http://thegorgeous.wordp...
• I can't control.
• The scariest person.
• Imperfection.
• Everything will be the same.
• Bye. :/
• I can stand up with my two feets now. :)
• Avoiding.
• Mummy, it's over.

Jaime!