Becos of you(not referring to any specific person), I've missed out a lot things in my life. Even those little things which are important.


Looking through my past entries of this blog, thewayof-life.blogspot, i found out I've changed quite a lot. Character, personality, maturity, looks, attitude, the way i type & etc. When i was in Sec 1, I'm just a girl who do not know the reasons of life. I'm just a girl who is ignorant. I'm just a girl who just live my life with a smile. & thats why everyone call me laughing buddha. I was in 102. 102 was really a great class, yes, there's people like me that complained about coming into this school becos of the teachers, the friends & of course, the facilities of the school. However, we just tend to forgot those moments that we laughed tgt. & thats how we live our every days in 2008. 2008 was a chance for students to get into express. & yes, there were people from 102 went to express & i really miss those people. Bernadette, Azida, Nikita, Farisah & many more. :) When we get to sit down with those people who went to express, we just tend to talk about the times when we're in 102. Not becos thats the only time we're tgt, thats becos those memories are just too awesome. & we will start to miss those times. 102 was a class that is not very co-operative. We do not listen to the chair person & when someone wants to help in in all events, we will start saying about the person acting big. We cry becos we find faults with each other. We laughed becos we embarrass ourselves. We hugged becos we know we will be separated. Those times were the times i treasure the most, that i will remember the most. & i was really childish to get into fights with my friends. It made everyone go through a very hard time, however we made it, becos we had each other in the end.

2009, was a normal year, a streaming year, but still deserved to be remembered. Was still in 202. I made new friends, had new cliques. They were awesome. We had stupid fights, we had stupid comments about each other, however, we still love each other. 2009, every single day i spend with, is with the same person. I don't mind spending every single day with her, becos she's my bestest friend, & she was always there when i needed her. She gave me her shoulder, she gave me her support, she gave me her love, she gave me her time, she gave me almost everything. It was just a year, meant for her & me. My results was splendid, never gotten such a good results. My teachers were all awesome. Our class, uncontrollable, noisy, talkative, rude, but we still think that our class is the best. & i will always remember that.


2010, had new classmates, new friends. But friends still stayed, clique still remain tgt. :) New class, 302, but no big changes. Had surprises on 10 April. Lost her on 29 June. Cried over it, food-less for 5days, but its alright. I will take the good memories, leave the bad ones & treasure you as a normal friend now. We'll remain as friends, more joys should be discovered afterwards. :) Now, I'm just a girl who knows a lot about her own life. I'm a girl who knows whats bad & whats good. I'm a girl who knows who is good & who is bad to her. I'm a girl who knows whats bad for herself & whats best for herself. I'm a girl who knows how to show her love to her friends, to the people around her, be it strangers or pets. I'm a girl who knows how to think before doing something. I'm a girl who knows which matter is more important. I'm a girl who values her friendships with her friends even more. I'm a girl who treasures every moment with her friends. I'm a girl who knows how her life should be in the future. Now, i seem like i know everything about my life, about myself & about the people around me. I've chaned. I've grew to a true teenager. I may be very emotional over small stuffs, but i am not gaining sympathy, its just that the matter mean something to me. I understand more about myself & understand the things are happening. Through obstacles, i know i have something to learn from it, & i will change myself if required, & make sure the mistakes does not happen again. Through obstacles, i treasure everything more. Through obstacles, i will grow into someone stronger than how i used to be. :) & i have to say, i love the way i am now. Not becos I've lost you or lost something. Thats becos, I'm just better off this way. & there is no priorities in my life that i have to put first anymore.

Sometimes, we have to be alone. Becos there will not be anyone disturbing you. & sometimes, we just need our own time to think about situations & many other stuffs that are worth our time. But it doesn't have to be thinking. it can be doing. Like, doing homework. :) Today, no one was at home(relatives when shopping) & i had my own time. I studied. However, whenever i look at books full of words, i will just feel sleepy. So i turned on music, to the blast & i got everything into my head. The feeling was extremely nice to be alone, studying, feeling calm.

We are not doing ourselves justice when we reproach ourselves for feeling a certain way. Morol evaluation--the judgement as to whether something is good or bad--presupposes choice. And where there is no choice, there are no grounds for moral evaluation. For example, we may not like the law of gravity, but gravity in and of itself its neither good nor bad--it simple is. Similarly, we may not like feeling fear, but the feeling itself is neither good nor bad--it, too, simply is.

It is impossible to describe the pain that follows the loss of someone we loved. The person left behind mourn is often unable to contemplate life without the deceased. However, what happens next varies drastically among induviduals. Some people never recover from the loss. Others move on, after a period of grief, and are able to function as they did before, in terms of both their actions and their emotions.

"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain."

Each time we experience sorrow, our capacity for joy increases.

Process of letting go comprises four stages: Accepting the reality of the loss, working through the pain of grief, adjusting to life without the person that means a lot to us, and moving on.
1st stage has to do with one of the common responses to loss, which is denial, either by refusing to come to temrs with the fact that the person is gone or by belittling the value of the relationship with the person who passed. For healthy recovery, the person who expeienced loss has to accept reality: both the fact that that person will not return and the true significance of the relationship with the person.
2nd stage is working through the pain of grief. Rather than controlling our emotions, pulling themselves tgt, or being rough, we are better off going through the emotions, feeling the pain when it natually arises, and then expressing it in words and tears. Those who experience loss are often distracted from their pain by well-meaning people who encourage them to stop crying over the person and get on with their lives.
3rd stage involves adjusting to the new reality.
Final stage, is to move on. :) Its difficult, but just move on. & you will find out that if you move on, you will feel different.

What did i do today? Study, sing, eat. :) Love my life.

Tmrw its Jolyn's party, meeting pig at kembangan. :) Haha, gonna bring my poloraid. Wearing the new dress i bought, haha. Yay. :D

When i see what i saw, i really just wanna just talk about her being so bitchy & whatsoever. Feeling a little anger, but i've thought, why should i EVEN get angry? I've told you you're just a friend to me, but why do i EVEN get angry & get sad. Ha, but nvm, i knew i should not & now i'm not. :) I find myself cool.

I don't have feelings for you. But when i found out stuffs about you, i felt jealous. I don't know how am i gonna sms you tmrw. Fml.

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• Everything will be the same.
• Bye. :/
• I can stand up with my two feets now. :)
• Avoiding.
• Mummy, it's over.
• Liar liar pants on fire.
• I shall forget the love you've given me, becos you...
• Omg.
• Whatever.
• Accepting emotions.

Jaime!