I am so tired. I am mentally tired & physically tired. Mentally tired becos i repeatedly tell myself the same thing over again & again when its not even fucking true. & its pulling my hopes down about everything. However, i still gonna say, I'm alright. :) & i am gonna be alright. Physically tired becos i am so tired of coughing so hard & so many times but my throat is still irritating me. In class i kept coughing coughing coughing, in the bus, i don't dare to cough, i have to bear with it. When i have to get to sleep, i cannot sleep becos of my cough. Take for example, yesterday night i got onto bed at 12.30am. I only managed to sleep at 1.30am. OMG, ONE FREAKING HOUR. Then the next morning, i just have to drag myself to the toilet.

Anyway, something funny happened in A Math class. :) Jolene asked Tifflin this,"TIFFLIN! YOU GOING GEYLANG TODAY?" Everyone laughed. But what Jolene meant was "Tifflin, you going to your geylang house today." The whole class laughed like shit.

Since it was like 2h of A Math class, Mr Pang gave us a break. Omg, had some violent fights with Sonia, Jill, Dinisha, Jolene & Noreen. Becos Jill has been wanting to touch my dimple since ages. When i allow Jill to touch it, Sonia don't let Jill touch it. So its like the violence start from Jill, Sonia & me. Then, Dinisha purposely touch my dimple. Jill was like,"WHY DINISHA TOUCH EARLIER THAN ME!!!!" So Dinisha was involved. Everyone was helping me. Hahah, they don't want Jill to touch my dimple, Jill held me so tight, they push Jill away but Jill still hold on to me. Finally, i got out of the violence! & the poor Noreen got into the fight becos she was standing there. Worse still was, her leg ah, sexy ah. HAHAH. However, in the end, i let Jill my dimple. Hahaha.

Choir! Omg, choir really lack of discipline man. Even not being a committee member, i am burning inside. They just don't wanna shut their fucking mouth. Whats there to talk uh. Talk so much. Walao eh. I couldn't sing still, becos i will tend to cough so badly every second. Everyone was like,"Are you ok?" Hahaha, i cough until i tear. Lol, so stupid. Choir ended early! Yay, went home immediately.

I reach home, i sleep again eh! Hahah, so shiok. But like for a while only.

I am currently doing A Math homework. I don't know a shit about it. & i am so stress over it that i can just cry. My engine for exams is starting to on. :) & i am gonna study starting from Saturday. Studies shall be the first now.

DADDY INSISTED ME TO GO SEE A DOCTOR BECOS I AM SICK FOR 5DAYS. :/ I don't like to go see doctor becos i have to eat medicine! & i have to request fluid instead of tablets becos i cannot swallow. Aiyah, then so paiseh. D:

Tmrw i cannot go hospital take the test also. Becos not feeling well cannot take the test, ah, waste time nia.


Shall talk about some life education. Mostly, for myself. But if you people reading thinks its right, it may be a advise. :) Hahaha!

Experiences in the past two months, taught me to suppress my emotions, to hide my pain. It took me days to unlearn this harmful habit and give myself the permission to feel, the permission to human. My most significant psychological breakthrough came when i realized-truly internalized the notion--that it was all right for me to be sad, that there was nothing wrong with feeling dispirited, scared, lonely, or anxious. That simple realization, that is was OK to feel.
Let your feelings flow.
Social ties would not hold---communities, families, and relationships would fall apart--if our emotions were always exposed. We have all at some time felt a primal emotion, be it envy, anger, desire toward a friend, which, if revealed, would have endangered our relationship with that person. We have all in our imagination violated some of the commandments that hold society tgt, lusted after our neighbour's partner, felt angry, enough to hurt someone. We know how to control our emotions in public--a necessity in order to survive, let alone thrive, in the world. But as with most human interventions in nature, there are also side effects to suppressing our true feelings.
While it's at times necessary to keep certain emotions out of sight(when we are with others), it may be harmful to try to keep them out of mind(when we are alone). We are taught that it is improper to display our anxiety or to cry in public, so we hold our emotions back in private as well. Anger does not win us friends, and over time we lost our ability to express and experience anger altogether. We extinguish our anxiety, fear, and rage for the sake of being pleasant and easy to get along with-- and in the process of getting others to accept us, we reject ourselves. Denying ourselves the permission to acknowledge and truly experience "undesirable" emotions is detrimental to our well-being and an obstacle to becoming an Optimalist.

Suppressing emotions.
If you truly wanted to stop thinking of something, you would be better off allowing yourself to think of one and then after a while, the thought would naturally go away--just as every thought eventually does. The attempt to actively suppress a thought, to fight it and block it, keeps it fresh and intense. Similarly, emotions such as anxiety, anger, or envy intensify when we try to suppress them, when we try to fight them and block their natural flow. An Optimalist understands that and allows himself to experience painful emotions, knowing that by doing so these emotions are likely to weaken and fade away.

Acceptance.
When we fully accept reality--the good and the bad, the pleasurable and the painful--we can create and spread affluence; when we accept rather than resist, we become a pipeline, a conduit, through which wisdom and goodness can flow.

Healing the Pain.
If we inject water into a clogged pipeline, the pressure will increase a great deal more than if the water is allowed to flow freely through a clear pipeline; similarly, if we allow painful emotions to flow through us naturally, freely, the pressure eases and they eventually subside. A continuous buildup of unreleased painful feelings can lead to emotional breakdown.
Instead of denying the pain and fighting it, we accept it; rather than condemning ourselves for feeling anxious, we accept their anxiety and allow it to flow through us and take its course.

We are all born with innate abilities to heal ourselves. We are able to fight off germs, to repair broken bones, to grow new skin. In order to heal physically, we need to give the natural healer in us the time it needs to do its work. We have a similar mechanism to heal psychological injuries. But in addition to time, psychological healing requires that we shift our attention to our emotional pain and keep it there.

Bear with it. I can.

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Afflin Amanda AnneTan Arnee Beverly Denise Eileen Farisah Fiona Genevieve Geraldine Huixian Irene JingYi. JoleneSEAH Kaijun KayXi KC choir LindaLIM Linda Melissa Nadia Natalie Ng Ying NicoleCHAN Noreen RyanPoon SandraYEO Sheryl Sharon Shearin SoniaCHEW Tiffany VenusTan Venus VictoriaAnne Xiao qing XingWen Yun Hsiu Yuliyanti

• The another day.
• I am getting over it.
• Firstly I wanna say how cool is it that I am blogg...
• Words can't bring me down.
• I will still try.
• If you never know.
• Sometimes, you have no idea whatever is happening ...
• It's just another day.
• Love. ♥
• To be strong isn't easy.

Jaime!