Smile tho' your heart is aching, smile even though it's breaking, when there are clouds in the sky- You'll get by, if you Smile through your pain and sorrow, smile and maybe tomorrow you'll see the sun come shining through- For you.
Light up your face with gladness, hide ev'ry trace of sadness, altho' a tear may be ever so near,
that's the time you must keep on trying, smile- What's the use of crying? You'll find that life is still worthwhile, if you just smile.
Smile tho' your heart is aching, smile even though it's breaking, when there are clouds in the sky- you'll get by, that's the time you must keep on trying, smile- What's the use of crying. You'll find that life is still worthwhile, if you just smile.

You said "rest". What does that means? Means we won't talk for days again like how it happened last two months? & rest, what are we suppose to do again? Think again? How long will it be again? When i saw the word "rest" before reading everything, i knew that something will not gonna be right. & yes, it's not right. I somehow regretted giving you the note, why did i even had the courage to write that? I should have just paid attention during lesson time. I thought things will turn out better, however, whenever i think it that way, it never never turn out good.

I knew it long ago that we will never be the same like how we was, however, i still continued comforting myself with lies & imagination thinking that one day we will be like how we was, one day we will, one day we will. & what Noreen said was totally true. She told me I'm wasting my time thinking it will happen, but even i know I'm wasting my time, I am still hoping that we'll be like how we was even no matter how many many many timessssssss you've told me that we can't, others bring me real down, but i'm still leaving in my dreamland, thinking & hoping, we'll be like how we was. Silly me. But probably, thats the real me. Becos i'm real stubborn, & you know it. Becos you used to call me that.

If one day, miracles happen, i would be so happy. & the miracles i'm talking about is this... One day, me crying in my room hardly, & suddenly there's a light shining. I lift up my head & see what it is, & at that moment i see Jesus. & Jesus tell me this,"Jaime, i'll give you one wish & i will grant it." Immediately, without hesitation i will definitely say," Let us be back like last time." & the next day, you telling me lets be back like last time. If that really happens, i would really tear. I know the miracle is a bit dramatic, but, thats what i dreamt yesterday night. Cool uh? Miracles come true, but not for me. & why is that so?

I've never thought that we'll end up so bitterly. I've never thought we'll end up so painfully. I've never thought we'll end up so sadly. Always, i'm very positive about us. & probably becos i'm too positive, when we end up so badly, it really got me strike down. I couldn't accpet the fact, i couldn't accept everything that was/is happening. Sometimes, i wonder being so naive is a good thing or bad thing?

Both of us are tired. I know you're extremely tired baby. I'm extremely tired too. I really hope one day if possible, your heart is fitted to my body & my heart is fitted to yours so we will be able to understand each other. Like this, we won't have any fights & clarifications too.

At this moment, excuse me girl, can you stop saying stuffs everywhere? You're just making things worse for youself. Why must you do all this unnecessary stuffs just to make yourself feel better & make me feel so much worst?! Today i just went to see a cyberbullying play, you know the caused of cyberbullying is so bad, which is suicide. If one day that happens to me, everyone will know is you. Seriously, stop. I've never begged someone that i don't know, but please... Stop hurting me with all your words. I've stopped, what else do you want? Leave her, no way.

Who have not felt jealous before in their entire life? Even a baby felt before. Its being said that when a baby's mother have a baby in the stomach, the baby will keep crying becos they know they gonna be replaced by the baby inside the stomach. Even a baby feel the jealousy, then for teenagers & adults, the jealousy is even much deeper. Jealousy can happen for different stuffs like work, love, studies, looks, popularity & many more. So I'm sure in this world, there's no such words as "plain jealous". Becos people get jealous for a reason, its just the other party wanna understand & know the feeling of it. Even me, i get jealous very easily. Don't tell me you have never gotten jealous before.

People always say after a heavy rain, the sun will shine brightly & it gonna be a good day. Hmm, the thing has been raining heavily for 2months, i wonder when will the sun shine from the dark clouds & it will be a good day for us, not for me only. Cos, you know i've never wanted to walk the journey alone.

You know that i need you so badly, why must you push me aside to other people? To me, you're different from the rest of the people in my life. Thats why i need you so much, thats why i'm willing to change, thats why i'm willing to undergo all those pains, thats why i'm willing to sacrifice even though you've asked me not to. You should know, i'll cry so badly if one day you really just turn & walk away from me & never come back to me again. YOU KNOW IT DEAR. You've known me for 2years plus. & you understands me more than anyone elses in this world. You understands me more than my families. You should know how muuch i need you. Do you still remember you had pain, i cried becos i was so afraid you will just leave me at that moment. & despite of the pain you had, you still got me up & hugged me & forcefully telling me you'll be fine. You won't leave me. At that moment you said that to me, i cried out so so soooo badly & if you remembered i said this,"I don't want anymore people to be important in my life again." You asked me why & i told you,"Becos its sad if that person leaves you..." You didn't say anything, but you just smiled & pat me while hugging me to calm me down. Since this happened, why do you still say i don't need you as much as last time? Why..? Till now, you have no idea how much you mean to me in my life? Let me tell you from my bottom of my heart, you mean almost in my life. Believe it or not, its up to you.

I don't know if you will ever read all this posts. If you read, i don't have anything to say. But if you have never read all these posts, then... I think, i'm just posting to lighten my heart.

I just want to get across to you what i have been yearning for.

Once again, I've cried for you again. I just cannot don't cry for you baby.

Happiness depend upon ourselves.

JaimeNgJingWen
Sweet 16. Singing is my passion. Shopping is my hobby. Kpop is my love.


Jaime Ng

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