The only one,

Things i always want to say to some of you

11:35 PM Friday, August 8, 2008

Kay, i gonna post another post for today. Probably I'm bored? Sad? Troubled?
Either of that lah.
I'm currently thinking of loads of things. It had been disturbing me. Let me just say it out here if i really have the guts to say.
Kay, let me begin with one of the matter first.

I'm sorry for neglecting how you're feeling. What i can do is just to ask you to be happy, cheer up, don't be sad, stop punching & ask you if you're okay not. D:
Yet you think I'm always there at your side. Overall, my thinking was not like this. My thinking is that, I've not been spending time with you.
Yesterday's message was sweet. It made me smile. See, you have the ability to make me happy too. (: Even though you also had the ability to make me sad, but probably most of them is happy? Common, just stop thinking that you gave me troubles, sadness, tears & burden lah. Everything is not TRUE!!!
Keep saying sorry when you did nothing wrong. & say sorry when you can't change the things happening.
As long as, you're okay, I'm always okay lah! I promise you kay? :D
Just don't be so negative lah. Its bad you knowwwww?!!
Let's continue to be friends forever. Friends that fool around. Be mean to you. Laugh at you. Many many that friends are always doing lah!
HAHA. Takecare & I love you alwayssss! <3>

Another matter now. I don't know what i have lie to you. I've been thinking & thinking, i still can't think of any reason that i lie to you. & why i lie to you. Just because i want her all by myself?! Even I've thought of some, but everything don't seems to be linked to the situation lah. Its so hard for me to walk pass you & pretend you're not exist! Friends usually say HI when they see their friend. Yet, I'm not. D: I'm just walking pass you doing NOTHING!
N-O-T-H-I-N-G!
I really don't know what are you gonna do now. After all, I'll respect your decision.

Another matter again.
I've been looking through your photos. Thought if I've brought you worry & care for me. Its like, you're just caring about MY feeling when you yourself ain't having any happiness. If you think you're selfish, then I'm double of yours.
Sometimes you want to say byebye to me & end our friendship like this, i feel so helpless & have no idea what to do next.
Whats in my mind at that time was this two question.

1) Should i respect her decision to allow her to get back her smile like last time?
2) If i allow her to do so, what will happen to me in future?
The second question will slowly lead me to my future without you around. & i will start to hesitate.
I will also start to be terrified.

But is that the only way to make you feel so much better without me around? If is, then... i think its time for me to say bye too.

Even you said you wouldn't leave me, but thats not always a promise to me. You had not been promising me things when you had already promise.

I told you before. Just that you don't know what had happen. Its alright lah. Sometimes, i think you don't know anything is better than knowing things. After that, later you will start to say want leave me just to let me be happy & so whatever it is.
After all this experience, i learn to be smarter when i tell/talk/say things to you. Cause, somehow i can predict what will happen next. :/
& everything i predicted it out is all BAD!!!
But its alright. Life will never go smoothly for everyone. I don't mind having such BIG challenge once in a life time.

This is then counted as LIFE. :D

There's still loads of matters that i wanted to say out! But i think it will be never ending. Plus, after matters & matters I've said, it gonna be from good to bad.
I bet no one want to read bad things right? So, its better for me to stop my talkie to myself lah.
Some more, I'm tired now. -yawn-
I wish if those person who read my blog, nothing bad will come out from you.
I BEG YOU. D:

Kay, doneeeeeeee talking. Goodnight readers.
Oh, & yah, I'm going to the High School Musical Ice Tour tomorrow. I don't feel any excitement. I don't know why.
I feel so bad treating my father so bad this few days. ): I don't know what to do with him noww. All i can do is to treat him better from now onwards before him getting upset. :/

Mummy! Why can't i transfer out?! I want to transfer out! Pleaseeeee?

I bet that will never happen unless there's miracle from God. Nevermind, JaimeNg! You should stop talking lah!
Aiyer!

Labels: Bored, Sad and Irritated., Stressed, Troubled